mindset – ScarletQuill

Up earlier this morning — at my laptop with coffee in hand by 5:35am, and that was delayed an extra minute by forgetting my notebooks in the other room.

Yesterday had a morning full of self-doubt and “this will all take way too long why even bother” feelings, in which I sat on the couch and scrolled social media and moped and hated things. Eventually I managed to kick myself in the pants and call out the moment for what it was. I stopped scrolling first, as I’ve learned about myself that often this is only making things worse. And I reminded myself of all the other logical things I’ve said to myself in the face of this feeling before, and that it would pass, and that the best thing to do was anything else — read a book, get up and move around, etc.

I’ve been struggling with finishing an outline for my first novel that I like, and originally I’d wanted to have it finished by end of January. Not hitting that goal was making me antsy, like I’m off schedule, like I’m off schedule and therefore never going to have the chops to make it as a published indie author because I can’t do this fast enough to make money off it…

Sigh. Chill. Relax. There is no race, or timetable. The timing of your life is perfect by default. Things take the time that they take.

As a family we went down to the harbor in the afternoon, where there is a place to fish next to a grassy field. Hubs set up his poles, the kids ran around like squirrels, and I brought a beach chair and a blanket and my laptop and notebook, and sipped a coffee and felt restored with the world and the muse.

(See pictures down below, or on my Insta, @kate.duttera.)

I switched to outlining by hand and felt myself getting back on track with it again. So, now that the coffee has taken hold, I’m off to do that again for this morning’s session.

It is now 5:45, and I have until 7am — or one of the kids wakes up early — to devote to quiet time, coffee, and my writing. I would like to knock out several more scenes in the outline, but just being up early and making the extra space for it today makes me feel like a winner.