I really wanted to participate in CampNaNoWriMo this April. Mostly on principle, since the last few rounds of NaNos I have whiffed it, and I miss the camaraderie and spirit of it, and the writing habit. Above all, I’ve been missing the writing habit.
I didn’t have a project yet, really, although over the first couple of months of 2019 I’ve been working on an outline for my vampire novel. An outline I was really liking, too. I felt like I was finally solving some plot points that had always bothered me, figuring out some character motivations. And even though, three days before Camp NaNo started, I decided to scrap most of that outline and start the novel in a completely different way that had come to me in a sudden flash of inspiration, the point is that I started, and I was excited about it.
But I decided right from the get go, as I was filling out my Camp profile and project, that I was going to use the flexibility of the Camp NaNo session to set a goal that was ridiculously small. One that didn’t’ even feel worth it, it was so small.
My goal for April Camp NaNo 2019 is 500 words per day. Or, 15,000 words in total.
That feels so small, dude.
As someone who is a perpetual A-student and teacher’s pet, it goes against my nature to not set a goal at “perfection”. NaNo is technically 50,000 words, therefore even though it’s Camp and you can set whatever goal you want I should be aiming for 50K because that’s the “right” way to do it.
Nevermind the fact that I have a full and busy life and writing 1,667 words per day is fucking hard around everything else that wants a piece of my time. I’m the perfect student and I’ll just have to find a way to hit the perfect goal. I’m sure I can get up two hours early every day without fail to accomplish ALL THE THINGS.
Dude. When will I learn that life doesn’t work that way?
Well, I’m trying to learn it now. Because I’m trying a new tactic — setting a goal that feels stupidly small, one that feels ridiculously easy to accomplish, too easy, pointless. So that when my life happens and my energy flags and chores crop up uninvited, I have the space to still hit that ridiculously small goal and get that hit of pride that hey, I did the thing I said I would do. I’m annoyed and stressed out over other annoying bullshit in my life today, but hey, I hit my writing goal. GO ME!
And that little hit of confidence will keep me going day after day. And it’s that consistency that will make things happen, not dreaming of big giant goals that you can’t hit and that drag you down with discouragement and depression.
Currently Reading: King’s Dragon by Kate Elliott; The Upside of Your Darkside by Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener
Currently Watching: Season 7 of Star Trek Voyager; Forensic Files; The Gil Mayo Mysteries
Currently Writing: unnamed vampire novel, first draft
ScarletQuill 